How many times in your life have you seen someone who is really attractive, and instead of running over to go and talk to them or do something about it, your immediate next thought is:
I’m not good enough to go and approach them.
I’m not attractive enough,
not confident enough,
and they’re too hot,
they’re too stylish,
they’re too successful for me.
You immediately put them on a pedestal.
I’m not just talking about doing this in romantic relationships, we do this everywhere else too. Worrying about our friends’ opinions, our parents’ thoughts, our children, our bosses, clients, and coworkers. We spend our whole lives putting other people on a pedestal. The question I have today, is why we continue to put these people on this pedestal.
I think that we as a society have been raised and told to believe that when we get enough stuff, then we will be worthy of these people. Getting a promotion, getting a million dollars, having our idea of a “perfect body”. Maybe then we will be on this person’s level.
What an enormous lie we tell ourselves…
We create these images in our heads of these people that are not real. They are not perfect, regardless of what their appearance may portray – they are as much of a human being as you are, they just have different life experiences than you (as we all do).
We actually reject ourselves from these people before they even have a chance to reject or accept us themselves – we’re too quick for them! How many of us have been living our whole lives deciding for other people whether they want us or not without going to find out for real?
✘ As children, we are told our teachers are far superior to us and that we should fear their authority.
✘ As teenagers, we don’t approach the “cool kids” in fear of rejection.
✘ As young adults, we don’t approach a possible life partner because they’re more successful than us.
✘ As middle age adults, not paying attention to our children’s actions online.
✘ As elders, we don’t speak up to our children when they’re in the middle of making life decisions, in fear of being cut off from them.
We as spiritual beings tend to go out and find what we believe we deserve, all while leaving these “faultless people” on their pedestal in the distance. Many people who struggle with mental health have their minds/brains creating this illusion that they are not worthy of good people surrounding them. Therefore, we attract the negative people who are cheating you of what you actually deserve. Want proof? Don’t believe me? See the repercussions of repeated heartache in your life, whether it be bad friendships, abusive relationships, allowing people to walk all over you.
We simply don’t value ourselves enough to put our vulnerable selves out there for others to wholeheartedly love. We keep up armor to avoid the heartache, and we suffer through not being able to experience genuine love and friendships. And why is this?
WE KEEP PUTTING PEOPLE ON A PEDESTAL.
You could very well be past enabling such heartaches to manifest in your life, although many people still slip up once and a while, which is only natural. But this blog post is for people who are currently belittling themselves. People like me.
So what’s the trick to taking people off of this pedestal? Self-care! Treat yourself like a king or queen, do things that make you feel full and happy, and surround yourself around people who love you for you! Practice being vulnerable. Cry when something hurts, and cry when something incredible happens. Allow your emotions to be, don’t try to hold them back. They are a part of you.
Build your own pedestal out of your emotions, and lift yourself higher than anyone else in your life. You can’t love anyone else until you learn to love yourself. You can’t help anyone until you help yourself.
“You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Matthew 7:5
Once you do this, prepare for incredible things to happen.